Sunday, March 14, 2010
今天我很优哉，并没有特别去做任何一些事。。。本来因该和N去吃午餐，可是她临时有事就取消了。。。最近她也说好烦喔，希望她还好，一切顺利。。。等我从越南回来再和她聊聊。。。希望到时他的烦恼都没了。。。
这礼拜除了那天吐了一天的口水，之后的几天都比较忙，好多事也有一些无聊的人给了一些无聊的意见。。。害得我忙得要命。。。不过也好，让我没时间想太多关于他的事。。。心里还是很不舒服，当然还是伤心，不过这次真的真的是的放弃了，因为没有任何我之前所妄想的 “有可能” 会发生，现在是不可能了。。其实最让我伤心的是他把我当一个代替品，而我也像个白痴的让他利用。。。好笑吧。。。
像我之前所讲的，我会再受伤一次。。。而真的我是受伤了，也是最后一次为他伤心了。。。值得吗？我不知道，笨吧，为了他让我这么伤心。我都已经不知道要如何开口说出来了。。。几位好友因该都让我烦够了。。。不会再烦她们了，已经过去了。。。让我慢慢放掉和忘了吧。。。如何我不知道，不过我会慢慢学会的。。。
对了我在之前说到我会有新的部落格，我已经成功地把它完成了。。不过还没开始写任何短篇或留言。。。新的部落格我取名为《芬之物语》(www.fenstoryhut.blogspot.com) 。。。再等一段时间，让我开始我的写作吧。。哈哈
这礼拜除了那天吐了一天的口水，之后的几天都比较忙，好多事也有一些无聊的人给了一些无聊的意见。。。害得我忙得要命。。。不过也好，让我没时间想太多关于他的事。。。心里还是很不舒服，当然还是伤心，不过这次真的真的是的放弃了，因为没有任何我之前所妄想的 “有可能” 会发生，现在是不可能了。。其实最让我伤心的是他把我当一个代替品，而我也像个白痴的让他利用。。。好笑吧。。。
像我之前所讲的，我会再受伤一次。。。而真的我是受伤了，也是最后一次为他伤心了。。。值得吗？我不知道，笨吧，为了他让我这么伤心。我都已经不知道要如何开口说出来了。。。几位好友因该都让我烦够了。。。不会再烦她们了，已经过去了。。。让我慢慢放掉和忘了吧。。。如何我不知道，不过我会慢慢学会的。。。
对了我在之前说到我会有新的部落格，我已经成功地把它完成了。。不过还没开始写任何短篇或留言。。。新的部落格我取名为《芬之物语》(www.fenstoryhut.blogspot.com) 。。。再等一段时间，让我开始我的写作吧。。哈哈
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:04 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, March 11, 2010
how's everyone lately? Had a good chinese new year break? hope everyone enjoy the long holiday earlier on..
As for me, usual stuff a good rest during my CNY holiday and afterwhich is a serial of rainblows request in my job. Though is busy but so far i still enjoy the work. Thanks to my mentor, her patience and guidance.
Things getting slightly interesting in my new work area but don't know why i don't feel excited over it. Yes is interesting to discover and learn new stuff then get to save it. But somehow something is missing. I don't know why. Or perhaps lately i'm bothered by the same stuff again that is why i feel something missing.
As mentioned in my previous blog, did silly stuff again and fall into it again. Think i do have some words craved in my forehead saying thing like "Come and fool me"or "treat me like a clown" is it.
Been awhile since we last catch up (just us) since Dec 09, lately we had a short chat and have sms exchange on and off, though he is away for business trip. Suspected things must have gone wrong with him and his gf or wife to be...but he refused to say any. On the other hand, another friend of mine told me he out of relationship. Got confused by all these information and action done by him.
Like i said things that happen is a dream, and yes dream will end. I have wake up, realise that his business trip is not just a business trip. It includes his trip with his gf or wife to be too. Found these out accidentally through someone's blog. Guess is fated for me to find out. Feel so hurt at the point i found out. But then i reflected back. He has never commit anything to me. Well then he is not wrong for not telling me anything. i can only say i think too much and assume too much. Being silly again that all i can say. Also think the dream i have with regards to him is true. The dream that he wore a wedding ring, the day he get married i think i won't attend.
Hmm just don't understand why whenever i feel something is good, some unhappy stuff will happen. I know i'm nagging the same stuff again and again. I don't want to too. But guess this is the place where i can pour everything out. I really have a urged to go to him and tell him "stop confusing me and let me go". Can he just treat me like any other one. think if he does that i will feel better. As what my friend told me, perhap he is just the right person but at the wrong timing. I really feel so.
TM, the friend i mention earlier, guess he also the right person at the wrong timing too. He is nice and caring but ... think i am too drain off. I rejected his invited 2nd time already. Guess another time he will be understand why. Hope he can find someone better.
Better stop my nagging..gotta get going..pls let me get busier and times pls fly faster for this year.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:13 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities