Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Coming to the end of April alrdy....another month has gone...this month passes quite fast...as usual the busy schedule i have plus company audit...lots of verification and answering going on...oh also plus farewell and birthday lunches/dinners going on....
A couple of my colleagues have tendered....feel sad as these people are those who can work with and understand the process....now that they have gone...guess i will have hell lots of problem with the new person who is going to take over...haiz (~.~||)...also at the same time i feel happy for them...because they have found the direction and moving towards it...Congrats!! (^.^) ...Maybe because i look forwards for changes and to leave the company that way i happy for them more than sad...haha..how i hope i can also leave soon ...real soon...
Many changes in my company lately...too much and too fast that it gives a big uncertainty to me...i don't know where i will be after the changes take place...i don't know after the changes take place will i be able to perform...i don't know with changes kick in does that mean i'm no longer needed there....many question marks float out above my head now....
Beside these question mark that bothers me...there's another push factor that urge me to leave the company....that's the environment and the people there...like in the past i been complaining....the company has grown so fast and so many changes taken place has make the environment more and more uncomfortable....people changed and new people new working style...
It may appear that i can't adapt the new changes the company has....I will said Yes and No....Yes as it is due to the new faces and new working style that turning me off from the work....No as i find that changes that don't need me to work against my princple i'm fine...but the changes now has somehow pushes me to work against my principle...I don't feel comfortable...It has come to a point that almost every discussion or question asked will end up debating and arguing ...haiz this just making me feel tired....
This mth also alot of April babies....have a big hole in my pocket alrdy....pressie plus lunches and dinners....it soooo expensive man....my April mth has packed with full of work debating, birthday and farewell celebration plus my tennis session....it has been so packed that it helps to exhaust all my energy....good as it stop me from having those nonsense thinking and worries
I've been good girl since my last blog on the 6th....i managed to let things down abit....because i'm able to talk abt them abit when ppl happen to ask...though i still don't feel so good.....
Today received a call from him...I'm shocked and kind of nervous while talking to him...talking half-way through he paused awhile and delibrately cover the speaker of the phone but still i heard her voice...seems like she was late to meet him...i supposed she know he's talking to me...and i don't know for me overheard the conversaton they had does it mean anything or nothing....am i thinking too much again...i don't know...just find it very funnie whenever i thought i have done very well to let things down...some how something will happen and trigger my emotion again....so tired...i'm sure for ppl who read my blog find me a loser....a big loser...keep saying let go but have not done it....keep saying not to mention but yet still mention...loser rite...i know ...i am...anyway his birthday round the corner...still i will wish him a happy birthday and may his wishes come true....
A couple of my colleagues have tendered....feel sad as these people are those who can work with and understand the process....now that they have gone...guess i will have hell lots of problem with the new person who is going to take over...haiz (~.~||)...also at the same time i feel happy for them...because they have found the direction and moving towards it...Congrats!! (^.^) ...Maybe because i look forwards for changes and to leave the company that way i happy for them more than sad...haha..how i hope i can also leave soon ...real soon...
Many changes in my company lately...too much and too fast that it gives a big uncertainty to me...i don't know where i will be after the changes take place...i don't know after the changes take place will i be able to perform...i don't know with changes kick in does that mean i'm no longer needed there....many question marks float out above my head now....
Beside these question mark that bothers me...there's another push factor that urge me to leave the company....that's the environment and the people there...like in the past i been complaining....the company has grown so fast and so many changes taken place has make the environment more and more uncomfortable....people changed and new people new working style...
It may appear that i can't adapt the new changes the company has....I will said Yes and No....Yes as it is due to the new faces and new working style that turning me off from the work....No as i find that changes that don't need me to work against my princple i'm fine...but the changes now has somehow pushes me to work against my principle...I don't feel comfortable...It has come to a point that almost every discussion or question asked will end up debating and arguing ...haiz this just making me feel tired....
This mth also alot of April babies....have a big hole in my pocket alrdy....pressie plus lunches and dinners....it soooo expensive man....my April mth has packed with full of work debating, birthday and farewell celebration plus my tennis session....it has been so packed that it helps to exhaust all my energy....good as it stop me from having those nonsense thinking and worries
I've been good girl since my last blog on the 6th....i managed to let things down abit....because i'm able to talk abt them abit when ppl happen to ask...though i still don't feel so good.....
Today received a call from him...I'm shocked and kind of nervous while talking to him...talking half-way through he paused awhile and delibrately cover the speaker of the phone but still i heard her voice...seems like she was late to meet him...i supposed she know he's talking to me...and i don't know for me overheard the conversaton they had does it mean anything or nothing....am i thinking too much again...i don't know...just find it very funnie whenever i thought i have done very well to let things down...some how something will happen and trigger my emotion again....so tired...i'm sure for ppl who read my blog find me a loser....a big loser...keep saying let go but have not done it....keep saying not to mention but yet still mention...loser rite...i know ...i am...anyway his birthday round the corner...still i will wish him a happy birthday and may his wishes come true....
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:31 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities